Please Allow me to explain… You’ve got a nice butt. I want to touch it.
For the record I didn’t make these. I found them on the inter webs. BUT I STILL WANT TO TOUCH YOUR BUTT!
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Maximum Wage 
You make a good argument, especially the cinnamon roll cookie one. I assume your hands will be warm from the baking, because cold butt touching would be a deal breaker.
Girl you know my hands are warm from them baking. you know what they say, warm hands warm heart.
Awesome.
LMAO I love this.
You may be the guy who asked me out with “Would you rather go out with me or be hit by a bus?
Nope sorry wasn’t me. I don’t drive buses or make threats.”
No, it was about choosing him not threatening me. He was hedging his bet by making a date with him SO much better of a choice. “Would you rather go out with me or get hit by a bus?”
No, it was about choosing him – not about him threatening me. He was hedging his bet by making a date with him SO much better of a choice. “Would you rather go out with me or get hit by a bus?”
well now that you mention it, I have been known to give random hypothetical scenarios about the obvious alternatives to dating me. So maybe it was me. Were you in Los Angeles in the last year? LOL.
The kitten convinced me. It told me you’d make a gazillion cookies. (And let me eat the cookie dough while they’re baking…)
DONE and DONE. Also, kittens are sooooo good at persuasion. OFF TO START BAKING.
Yeeeeessss! I think we girls will get the better end of this deal really…. (pun intended…)
Hahahaha
This should be freshly pressed. I’m just saying.
Well thanks for the compliment but, I hope it isn’t only because I didn’t technically write it LOL.
Wow, I love this. But I don’t want to like it. Ya know. But this is awesome.
Its ok man I know what you mean.
its technically different from an ass kisser right? lolz 😀 😀 😀
…. but… what the heck, the kitten looks insanely excited like a wolf looking at little red.
Maybe he’s thinking,
“is he gonna touch butt or is he gonna kiss ass??? OMG, he is using mind tricks like a jedi through the powers of line graph…”
or maybe the cat is thinking like a common homo sapien..
“touch the butt, touch the butt already!!!! cmon…!!!” deep sighs… then “sheesh… sensitive women!”
RIGHT!? That little kitten is rooting me on!
Loved the article.
Thank you for increasing awareness of butt touching. Personally, I wouldn’t let you touch my own butt, but like everyone has been reiterating the kitten is certainly convincing. Still, the ironic truth about cats is their almost universal enjoyment by most women and the corresponding universal disgust of these same women by the ownership of said cat by any male. My wife and I now have three and it’s like the best marriage insurance you can buy.
Hahaha Cats as marriage insurance. For reals? I’ll have to think about that when I get married. Also, you should probably reconsider me touching your butt. I know you’re a dude but, rules is rules.
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